The Nest Is Empty…Now What? Organizing Tips and Donation Resources for Boston-Area Families
Last week, I watched my son Sam walk onstage to receive his high school diploma. I couldn’t have been more proud. After 18 years of encouragement, adaptation and progress, he did it! Next school year he is going off to Providence College.
This IS my first rodeo.
And, as a family of four, that means we still have two more years to be empty-nesters. But I feel it right around the corner. I can’t even believe I’m saying those words as I type them. I know it’s a cliché, but it does feel like yesterday when I was mashing prunes and vacuuming crushed Cheerios off the car floor.
I read an article recently that said we tend to see life as a journey with milestones and destinations. But she said that she has come to think of her life more like a garden than a journey. It happens all around us, with some things growing and flourishing and some things going dormant or dying, all at once. We plant seeds, we watch things grow. We cut back and learn to trust the seasons. I love that notion, and I think it perfectly exemplifies the process of parenting.
I have found that life’s biggest transitions - birth, death, moving, kids starting their own new lives - it’s all part of that garden. And it’s also part of what I do! As a professional organizer, my job is to help clients through moments of transition just like these. Often bittersweet but also joyful.
It goes without saying that this blog is partly for myself. I have been thinking about how to recreate a new kind of structure in my home. One that welcomes my nearly-grown kids any time they want to use a washing machine that doesn’t require quarters.
But also, one that honors that it’s now our turn to focus on what brings us joy in our home, and what that might look different these days. (Making peace with that is on the menu too.)
How to Organize A Home When You Have Young Adult Children Who’ve Flown the Coop (But - Let’s be Real - Might Show Up at Any Moment)
Again, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m learning this myself. But here are some methods that I have found useful in creating a home that is both welcoming but also…well, finally yours.
1. Have open conversations with your mostly-grown children about what they want.
It seems basic, but often this topic is glossed over in the fear that your child might feel rejected or pushed out. But having a frank conversation helps avoid assumptions and miscommunications. If you are flexible on the topic, ask them what they feel comfortable with. Their response might surprise you!
2. Remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
It might be tempting to reorganize the entire home in one fell swoop, but it can be highly emotional work, and there are a lot of elements that you may not be able to decide upon right away.
One area at a time is a great strategy. Start with low-stakes spaces like your kid’s bathroom, the coat closet and the pantry. Let go of lingering items that they don’t use and didn’t take with them. Remember you can restock on items for when they come to visit.
3. Gather your Boston area donation locations for teen and children’s items.
Knowing where to take your donations is always important. When you know that a more emotionally connected item is going to a good home where it will be used and loved, it makes the mental work of letting go so much easier.
Here are a few wonderful resources that take teen and children’s items in the Boston area that I’d love to share with you.
LEGO Replay: a simple-to-use platform that allows you to pass forward your much-loved LEGO® bricks and share with kids in need
Vietnam Vets: donation pick-ups that directly fund programs for American veterans and their families
Epilepsy Foundation: clothing and household item donations with the proceeds helping to fund programs and research to benefit those living with epilepsy
Donate Your Stuff: donated books, clothing, and more power a youth-run business that empowers system-involved young adults to take charge of their lives
Local schools: a direct way to put gently used supplies, books, and clothing back into the hands of kids who need them
4. Take the time to focus on yourself.
When you’ve done the work of decluttering all those unwanted toys, books, clothes and old board games that no one has played since 2016, you’re ready to do the fun part…imagining the possibilities!
Take the time to walk through your home and really see it for its potential. Is there any work you’d like to do, touching up paint or mending baseboards? What might you do with that newly available space? Touch everything, look around. What do you see? What do you want to see?
You’ve spent the last 18+ years in the service of others, and adjusting back to serving yourself can be a hard transition. Remember that this new version of your life can feel scary, but it’s also full of so many opportunities for how you want to style and fill your home.
Happy nest updating!
